Traveling

I had to travel yesterday for work.   I’m actually in San Francisco today meeting with some people.   I love being in other places, just not for work.   I also don’t like getting from place A to place B even when traveling for pleasure.   The travel process has become so horrible for me that I’m afraid that it’s ultimately going to affect my ability to leave my own area.  

I started traveling very early in life and I have probably traveled more than most people, most Americans, ever will.  I’ve flown over a million miles in my life and believe me, that is a lot.   I’ve landed on airstrips in Alaska that were far too short for the plane I was in.   I’ve taken off and landed in storms.   I’ve been certain that we were crashing twice.   I don’t mean, “oh, it feels like we could crash”, I mean, “holy s$%t we’re about to die!”.   In spite of all of that, being on an airplane is really okay for me.   I complain incessantly while I’m onboard, but in all honesty, that part of the trip is fine with me.   The part I can’t stand is the airport and everything associated with it.

I don’t like driving to the airport!  What is it that happens to people as they approach an airport?   Why does driving suddenly become so hard?   I understand that it’s a place you might not drive to everyday, but it’s still just roads.   All of the rules are the same.   There are signs that direct you where to go.   There are lanes and speed limits.   It’s all the same.   Nevertheless, traffic snarls up.   People can’t find their way around.   People just stop in the middle of the road.   The irony is, that every airport is set up with the “airport return” option.   If you’re not sure where you’re going, just make some dry runs.   Go through a couple of times making the circle.   You can see what’s going to happen and then when you’re ready to make your move, head in with purpose.

The next problem is the lines to check in for your flight.   Why is it that everyone there is evidently flying for the first time?   What is so hard about checking your bag and getting your boarding pass?    What is so hard about checking someone in and printing them a boarding pass?   Still, look at the agents dealing with the passengers.   Every passenger has a pained look, as if their flight has been cancelled.   The agents are all staring intently at their computer screens with very little movement going on.   It’s as if the screen has hypnotized them and made them move extra slow.    They occasionally look up and short awkward conversation takes place, then the agent returns to their staring.   I never see them type anything; they must have to “will” the screen to respond.

Finally we get to the grand finale of the airport hassle, the security line.   God help us!   This has to be the most ridiculous process ever conceived of by man.   Sometimes I think they’re just hoping that the terrorists will find that it’s too much of hassle to get onboard an airplane.   Remove this!  Separate that!   Take off your shoes.   Remove your metal.   Take that laptop out of the bag.   This is a 4 oz. container of shampoo, you’ll have to leave that behind.   I can almost take all of that though.   What I can’t take is listening to the instructions over and over for 20 minutes so that I can get up to the machines and have the person in front of me fail to follow any of them.   “Oh, I didn’t realize I had to do that.”   Or worse, walk through and set off the magnetometer.     Come on, did you really forget that you had $14.00 in change in your pocket?    During the preceding 20 minutes could you not find 1 where you could put some of that crap in your bag?

It’s getting worse and worse for me each time.   I’m more and more frustrated.   I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to travel.    Please think ahead folks.   Please work on streamlining the process.   It’s up to us as travelers; I assure you that airport management, the airlines, and TSA all don’t care.   In the words of Gandhi, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.”    In the words of MWe, “Get your s$#t together!”