Someday Soon

Disclaimer:  I wrote today’s entry in good fun.   I have nothing against my elders and I know I’ll be there sooner than I would like.   I actually admire these people.

Tonight will probably be the last night that I sleep in Lake Oswego.   I’m finally leaving this place behind.   There were a couple of restaurants that I wanted to try before moving away and I managed to hit one of them last night.        

The Lake House is an upscale-ish restaurant that sits right on the lake.   The lake is still drained right now, so the view is not what it should be.   That didn’t really matter though; we were sitting in the bar.   We got there after the normal Lake O dinner hour, at about 9:00.   It was very surprising how full it was.  There were still several tables available, but most were full.  We went as far away from the crowd as we could.   There was a piano set up and it appeared someone was getting ready to play.   We sat in a small room behind the piano where there were about six tables.   We were the only ones in that room.

It was happy hour, so we ordered some food from the happy hour menu.  It was a pretty good deal.   We got a salad and a cup of soup for $3.00 each.   We also got “Filet Tips” and a prime rib sandwich for $6.00 each.   Of course, we also got a beer and a glass of wine for $5.00 and $12.00, respectively.  I wish I could find a happy hour where the food prices are high and the drinks are cheap.

As we started to eat, the bar continued to fill.   Very quickly the room where we sat was filled.   Then it was overfilled.  People were standing shoulder to shoulder.   I quickly noted where my exits were.   What was strange though was the crowd itself.  It was old people.   I’m not used to seeing that many old people in a bar.   There were also a lot more men than women.   This is normal in a bar; I’ve just never seen it happen in a bar where the median age is 65.   I got really scared all of a sudden that I’d wandered into some sort of geriatric meet market.   There was a guy next to my table combing his hair, forward of course.   Another man was taking charge, moving tables and chairs, organizing the room to suit his group.  Two women sat together at a table laughing and smiling, surrounded by all of the fading testosterone.   An obviously drunk old man staggered through the middle of the room bumping into things (including me) as he went by.

“Where am I?!”, I thought.

My wife pointed out that one man’s jacket had a logo on it that said, “Advanced Wood.” Yes, I guess that’s what he would have after a little Viagra.

The musical entertainment started.   It was a piano player and a female singer.   The singer was attractive and probably in her 30s.   Since we were behind her, you couldn’t help but notice the old guys staring at her ass.   She sang, “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.”

“Not these guys”, I thought, “They’ve got it bad for you honey!”

Our waitress popped through the crowd, “Would you like another round of drinks?”

“No, we have to go!”

Disclaimer #2: I didn’t have access to a computer, or the Internet this morning, so I had to write this entry the old fashioned way.   It had been a long time.