What am I again?

I was having a discussion with someone yesterday.  She asked not to be named in my blog, I’m not really sure why.   I think she’s concerned that I would paint her opinions incorrectly.   (That’s what comments are for, correcting me where I’m wrong!)   In any case I said I wouldn’t.   I also told her that there was no chance she could sue me for libel because I’m absent malice.  I had been dying to say that to someone since 1981 and even though it’s not quite legally correct, it was the best opportunity I’ve had.  

The conversation was regarding a picture that I saw on Facebook yesterday.   Actually, it started with that but moved to something far more profound.   The picture was of a sign at some protest.   The sign said…

“Obama is not a brown skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare.   You’re thinking of Jesus”

I said that I thought this was funny, but that I would never comment about it.   I went on to explain that I wouldn’t want people to think I was a liberal.   I am a moderate after all.

My conversation partner disagreed and said I was a conservative.   It made me think about what I really am.   It dawned on me that pretty much everyone must consider themselves moderate.   I mean it makes sense after all.   You’re beliefs are obviously all correct;  that’s why you believe them.    Also, any reasonable person must also hold these beliefs, so anyone that doesn’t is some kind of extremist.  Therefore, in your own mind, you must be a moderate, no matter what you believe.    Now, I’m not saying that you don’t know that you lean right or left.   I’m saying that everyone just leans slightly right or left.   Except of course for me, because I’m really a moderate and I sit right in the center.  

So I set out to prove that I was moderate.   I considered all of the presidential elections since I’ve been able to vote.

1988 – Voted for Bush Sr.  (Won)

1992 – Voted for Perot (Lost)

1996 – Voted for Clinton (Won)

2000 – Voted for Browne (Lost)

2004 – Voted for Badnarik (Lost)

2008 – Voted for Barr (Lost)

This proved to me that I’m doing very poorly on voting for winners.   But, I do have 1 Republican, 1 Democrat, 1 Independent, and 3 Libertarians.  

I next considered where I fell on hot button issues.

Abortion – Pro Choice

Guns – Pro Guns (all guns, even assault rifles)

Health Care – 100% Private

Education – Privatization

Illegal Immigration – Put up a fence, deport all illegals

Taxes – Lower taxes create jobs

Entitlements – Get rid of them ALL.  (Yes even Medicare and Social Security)

Holy crap, I thought.   I think most of my liberal friends would say I’m pretty damn conservative.   How could I possibly be moderate?  

Well, I think we should dismantle the military industrial complex, legalize drugs, give people the right to die, protect the national forests, allow gay marriage and generally let people live however they want.

So what am I again?   I’m tired of thinking about it.

My prediction for today is that there will be a small security issue at the State of the Union tonight.   It will most likely be a suspicious package, but could be a crazy person attempting to charge in.   Don’t worry, it all diffuses very quickly and ultimately becomes a non-issue.    Don’t forget about the big stock market drop later this week.   The spike is today, or maybe in early trading tomorrow.  

Be careful with your money, I may try to take away your social security.  (Just kidding Dad)