Tough Morning

I had one of my bad mornings today.   I used to have them about once every two weeks but lately they had been far less frequent.   I’m normally a morning person and get up pretty early to get started with my day.   On my bad mornings, I really can’t get out of bed.   I usually convince myself that I’m under the weather, overly tired, or possibly that I’ve contracted African sleeping sickness.   Sleeping sickness, or African trypanosomiasis, is a disease transmitted by the tsetse fly.   Its later stage symptoms include very long sleeping cycles.    For me, I tend to just keep hitting the snooze and falling immediately back to sleep.   I did this for about an hour this morning.    After the hour had gone by, I decided that I was going to seriously sleep in.   This required me to get up and check my schedule to ensure that I didn’t have any early meetings.   When I was sure my schedule was clear, I turned off the alarm clock and went back to sleep.   I was very disappointed in the result.    My next hour of sleep was haunted by horrible work dreams.   I first dreamed that one of our key employees went to lunch and never came back.   This dream was interrupted by a second dream that two of our top interview candidates decided to start a television show together.   Then the final act in my, obviously stress related, dream sequence play was that the IT department came and stole all of my clothes.   I don’t mean the ones I was wearing.  I mean actually came to my apartment and took my entire wardrobe.    When I confronted them about it, they told me that my clothes were in the way and had to be moved. 

I finally got out of bed two and a half hours after my normal rising time.   I was barely able to get this done before heading off to my first meeting.    You will notice that the Dow crested 12,000 first thing this morning, just like I said.    I’m also confident that I was correct about the State of the Union issue.   It was covered up so that they illusion of complete security can be maintained.   Ask any conspiracy theorist you can find.

For today, my prediction is that you will see a news story in the next couple of days about someone in the Northwest sending President Obama a bunch of smoked salmon as a gift.   I assure you, it will not be from me.   I like my smoked salmon far too much to give it away.