Blue

It’s not upset you feel when down

When nothing is wrong

In the sea of blue feelings drown

Just move along

Don’t drag each one out to see

What it could mean
Keep it locked up purposefully
Dwell on the unseen

Finally

I got a speeding ticket today.   It was the first ticket I’ve gotten in over 15 years.   I was shocked!   I’m not really shocked that I got one.   After all, I was completely guilty.   I was shocked it had taken so long for me to get one.    On my way to work, I drive a stretch of Highway 26 in Oregon, just leaving Portland, where the posted speed is 50 MPH.  I routinely drive that stretch between 65 and 90.    There is a truck lane on the far right where you can easily blow by most of the traffic.   Most cars won’t go over there, and the trucks are easy enough to get around.  That’s exactly where I was today.    I was pretty lucky because I had just gotten around some trucks and had not reached full speed when I passed the Portland Police Officer.   He only got me at 74.   I easily could have been going much, much faster.   I’m now $287 poorer.  It should probably teach me a lesson about driving too fast.   It doesn’t though.   It taught me that I can pretty much drive as fast as I want and it will only cost me just over $.05/day.

Hiding Out

I’ve been hiding out quite a bit lately.   I’m afraid that many of my friends think that this is because I’m being aloof, or not interested in sharing my thoughts with them.   This is not true.  The fact is that I’ve not shared my thoughts with them because I’m still not sure what my thoughts really are.  I still have a lot of conflicting feelings and I don’t like trying to explain things that I don’t understand.   I hope that my friends understand that I care about them deeply and that I treasure the relationships I’ve built over time.   I hope that they also understand that I have things that I will always keep private.   The reasons I have for some of the actions I’ve taken recently are never going to be completely explained.   That’s because some of them are very private and I have no interest in discussing them with anyone.   Some of them are also unexplainable because they are based on gut feelings that require all of my experiences, intuition, hang-ups, and values to understand.  

 

Never forget how much I care about all of you that are close to me. 

China Grove

Something that I found pretty interesting happened to me this week.   It was a very odd coincidence, or was it?

I got up on Sunday morning and decided to walk to the store to get breakfast.   I do that a lot on the weekends.   I like to get up, walk down to the store and wander around until I find something to eat.   Of course, we’ve been over this behavior before in a previous post.   In any case, it was about 8:30 in the morning and I was walking down to the store when a song popped into my head out of nowhere.    It was a song that I like, but one that I hadn’t heard in a least a year, maybe way more.   It was China Grove by the Doobie Brothers.   

“… and his buddies with their Samurai swords, you can even hear the music at night”, I sang away as walked.

Well, that might have been the end of the story, and quite a boring story it would have been but then the strange part happened.   I listen to the radio station KNRK when I drive, almost all of the time.   It’s a little hard to define their format anymore, but they mostly play music from the 80s, 90s, and new stuff.   It’s safe to say they that it would be very rare day that they would play any Doobie Brothers.    Each morning though they do a segment called the “Eight at Eight”.   It a group of 8 songs that have a common thread and yesterday morning they were doing a sibling theme.     The last song, which came on at 8:30, was China Grove.  

Prescience?   I think so.

Of Two Minds

I often find myself conflicted.   I seem to have a strange ability to be able to see both sides of any decision and find the positive in either one.   Another way to say this is that I seem to be able to see the negative in either one.   This means that no matter what I choose, it’s always wrong.   I suppose it’s always right as well but I like to look at world as being glass half-empty.

This constant “conflictedness” seems to be getting worse as I get older.   I find myself sitting right at 50% on really big decisions.   This means that the deciding factors can be really small.   I sometimes sit and agonize over decisions finding that I really fall right in the middle on what I think the right thing to do is.   I can see the benefits of both courses of action.   I can also see the pitfalls, the pain, and the various negative repercussions of both.    Is this a kind of wisdom, or a kind of wishy-washyness?

I'm Back

So I’m sure that many of my loyal reader were wondering if I would ever write again and I’m here to tell you the answer is an emphatic yes.   I’ve gone though many changes over the last three and a half months, but I’m back and ready to entertain you with more anecdotes about my life.  I’ve had some interesting experiences recently, many of which beg for web chronicling.   I’ve met 2 more angels (the kind that come from heaven), cried, crashed a wedding, met a gay man named Fox, ran a marathon, had my nipple pierced, sold a house, bungee jumped, bought a television, danced, and nearly died at least three times.  It’s been a strange time.   I’ve got some stories for you, for sure.

I’ve missed writing.  A few of you have asked if I would write again.   Yesterday someone reminded me that I do actually have a few readers.   I will attempt to be more consistent going forward.   Watch the Semicolon Blog.   You might find some prescience.  You might find some entertainment.  You might find a story you weren’t expecting.   You might not.   I’ll see you here.  Same bat time, same bat channel.

Happy 4th

We can own property.
We can live with who we want.
We can own guns.
We can burn the American flag.
We can hang our leaders in effigy.
We can shout hatred or love.
Happy 4th, remember what freedom means, or at least what it should.